The Rabbit Quest

We tried to adopt a bunny today. Not as easy as you may think. Four locations, four different smells, four level of rabbit obsession - no rabbit.

Chicago Animal Care and Control - a kill city shelter. A large facility in the South of Chicago. Check in with valid state ID; funny, moderately pungent smell; depressed, desperate howling dogs; volunteer in the cat room: "Yeah, we had a couple of rabbits a couple of weeks ago... You don't get too many people asking for rabbits here...". Did I mention - a kill shelter.

Red Door Animal Shelter - a no-kill shelter. North Chicago rabbit welfare obsessed society; strong smell of cat piss. As soon as we walked in, it felt strange - more volunteers than rabbits. A big eyed woman asks us if we've ever been there before - no, let's go on a tour. She then proceeded with a 10 minutes speech about how fragile they are and the vet bills to anticipate.
Me: "We want an outside rabbit."
Crazy bunny lady: "Oh, we don't adopt out for outside. Would you consider keeping him inside?"
- Yes. [umm, nope.]
- Ok. Also they eat only timothy hay and their night poop. The exotic vet bills will be outrageous. You must have a car to adopt, because there may be an emergency in a middle of the night - some conditions may become fatal if not treated immediately.
- [may? more like - will]
- We'll need to call your landlord to make sure they allow rabbits, and we also need three references.

So no rabbit from the crazy rabbit lady.

Chicago Live Poultry. Not a shelter at all - arab chop shop. Extreme smell of blood and death; african children watching the live chickens killed; a small room full of cages with chickens, ducks, quaille and Bunnies! Oh, they are so cute... let's take that floppy eared black&white one or, no, that one right there. Yes, yes let's get this one. Ummm... do we get it out oursleves? Aparently not. We find a box and head back to the cage room... I'm almost there... Josh calls me: "Come on let's go." No bunnies leave this place alive.

Last ditch effort - Petco/Petsmart. Retail store in Lincoln Park; smell of cleaning chemicals and once again no luck.

What d'you have to do to get a freaking bunny up here?!